Outwardly Mobile

Thank you! Thank you for all of the encouraging words and comments.  Knowing that my blog is appreciated helps me keep writing.  I'm going to ask (a bit self-consciously) that if you like my blog you please share it with friends who might like it also?  Thank you.

Last week Matteo tried out an assisted walker for the first time.  It enables him to get the idea and motion of walking without having to balance at the same time.  He did really well in therapy, so we were able to bring it home for the week.  It's been a great week!

Matteo has always loved to be outside.  No matter where we are, if there's a door, he's heading for it.  But, being outside with him has meant him sitting in the stroller or crawling on the grass.  While he loves the stroller,  it doesn't do much for getting out his boundless energy.  And while the grass is fun to touch feel and eat, he is always trying to crawl to the driveway which is really hard on his knees.  I was thrilled to try out the walker.  So, while the rest of the country has been snowed in, we've had spring-like weather all week.  It's been a perfect time to get out.

I think my expectations may have been a bit high on our first outing.  Somewhere in my mind I envisioned us walking up the street, visiting a neighbor and maybe having a nice stroll around the block.  Reality was somewhat different.  We went for a 45-minute outing and got all the way to the corner and back. We live one house from the corner.  That means we averaged one house every 22 minutes, give or take.  At that rate our stroll around the block would be an all-day affair.  While we wouldn't win any races, Matteo had a wonderful time.  He laughed every time the wind blew his hair and did a little dance when a car went by.  It was magical to see him so happy.

The best day came on Sunday.  We went to our neighbors' house to watch the Super Bowl.  They have a long, flat and gated driveway that's perfect for little ones to ride their scooters and tricycles up and down.  Matteo had his walker and for the first time he was able to interact with the other kids.  He laughed when they wheeled around him and followed after as best he could.  He was so happy!  It also gave me some relief.  I didn't have to carry him or follow after him as he crawled around the house.  He could play and I could visit with friends. In many ways it lifted a burden from my shoulders and allowed me to just be me.  We had a great day!

Matteo's Resolutions

Last week I wrote about my three resolutions for the year, so this week it's time for Matteo's.  Since Matteo is not quite speaking yet, I've had to guess at what he'd resolve to do this year.  Here are his (my) three:

1.    I will sit unsupported.  In June of last year Matteo's rehabilitation doctor told me that 80% of children who sit unsupported by the age of two will walk.  The likelihood of walking then drops to 20% for children who don't sit by age four.   Right now, at 18 months, Matteo can sit only for short periods of time before falling over.  His difficulty stems from very tight hamstrings, hips and adductors.  Most of his therapy centers on stretching out those muscles and improving his balance.  We have a lot of work to do to get his muscles relaxed and stretched so that he can straighten both legs at once.  This is our number one goal this year.

2.    I will use a spoon.  Matteo would much rather be served than serve himself.  He's very content to just open his maw and wait for the food to arrive.  This is not what I have in mind for the next several years.   His Occupational Therapist has a plan.  It involves a strap that goes around his hand and holds a neoprene tube that I can slide a spoon into.  That way when he lets go of the spoon the spoon stays in his hand.  In theory it works great.  Not so in practice.  Matteo, in this short week, has learned that when I say "give me your hand" he hides both hands under the tray of his highchair.  On the rare times that I can get the contraption on he has learned that if he slides his hand across the edge of his tray it pops off.  Then he opens his mouth and waits for the food.  But, we are resolved to use a spoon.  Or, I am resolved that he will use a spoon.

3.    I will say "mama" or some semblance of the "m" and "ah" sounds together.  Is this too much to ask?  I take care of him all day, change his diapers, feed him, bathe him and all I ask is to hear this sound pointed in my direction.  Instead my husband, after watching him for a few paltry hours on the weekend, says that Matteo is saying "papa" every time he leaves the room.  I go away for a few hours and he's saying papa.  I almost cried. (Note:  I should say at this point that my darling husband gets up in the morning, changes him and gets our daughter ready for and to school while I sit in bed with the cup of tea that he brings me every morning.  If you know my family you will know that I am just carrying on a tradition started by my Great Aunt Una.)  But, really that's no reason for his first word to be papa and not mama. Words will come next, and hopefully soon because the whole screaming thing is getting old.

Matteo and I have a lot to work on this year but I am confident that with daily practice and perseverance we will meet all of his resolutions this year.  I hope you can meet yours.

Going Up the Down Escalator

You know when you have one of those weeks that is so rough that you breath a sigh of relief when it's over? That was last week. Nothing terrible happened - just a whole lot of little things that could have been terrible. It felt like I was trying to go up the down escalator. In fact, life feels a lot like that right now. But some weeks it seems like the escalator is going down faster, leaving me running just to stay in the same place.

The week started with an upper-respiratory cold running through the family, leaving us cranky and achy. Then my husband's asthma-like symptoms flared up, sending him into coughing fits, and gasping to the doctor. Wednesday evening, my School Board meeting went on for 4 1/2 hours. The following morning I did the 6 hour trip down to Matteo's urologist and back. And then, to top off the week, our car (the one we rely on) had a spectacular overheat as Patrick was getting off the freeway.

In many ways we were lucky. Yes, lucky. Everyone got over the cold and no school or work was missed. Kaiser gave Patrick an inhaler and told him that he may not have full-blown asthma and he should hopefully start to feel better. While the school board meeting was long, the district finances are getting better and the community is getting more involved in what's going on in our schools. On Thursday we saw the urologist for a 30 second check up to see how everything was doing after Matteo's October surgery. Matteo had surgery to correct his undescended testicles (a fairly common occurrence in premature babies). And while a 140 mile trip is long for a 30 second appointment, it wouldn't have seemed so long if the doctor had found something wrong - which he didn't. Finally by some luck when the coolant and oil sprayed all over the inside of the hood, the engine did not seize.

By the time my Saturday morning knitting group rolled around, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. It was there that I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen for a while. She and I met when my daughter and her son were in Kindergarten. She has a special-needs child whose needs exceed those of Matteo. While she was still sorting out his needs, she developed cancer. A terrible reaction to the treatment left her with constant, intense pain and almost took her life. The pain keeps her from sleeping and her ongoing treatments leave her exhausted. I was astonished on Saturday when even with everything she was going through, she was so concerned about me and my struggles. Reality Check. How can I waste time feeling sorry for myself. I may be going up the down escalator, but while I'm jogging, my valiant friend is at a full-out sprint. And she's not giving up! I know that I'm not giving up either. At some point I'll get to the top of that escalator. I don't know when and I don't know what's at the top. I do know that the trip will leave me changed -- for better or for worse is up to me.