More Than Socks

Sometimes events happen in your life that are profoundly significant, but that you completely miss at the time. So it was for me when I joined a knitting group some 5 years ago. If you had told me in my twenties that I would be knitting, I would have laughed. My mother tried to teach me when I was young, but I was never any good. And, it really seemed like something your mother, or grandmother would do. But, with the help of my mother-in-law, I learned anew and to my surprise found myself really enjoying it. I could sit, watch football and knit. I was very comfortable in my living room, knitting at night and on weekends. It was the perfect hobby for an introvert, or so at least I thought.

What I didn't know about learning to knit is that to progress, you have to learn new techniques. You need people to help you. You need to join a knitting group. Now knitting was one thing, but joining a knitting group? That's really not my thing. But, I really wanted to try new types of knitting, cabled sweaters, Fair Isle knitting, mittens and socks. I needed help, so I allowed myself to be dragged to the Knotty Knitters Knitting Group. I didn't go very much at first, but as the years have gone by and the group has grown and changed locations to a friendly coffee shop, I found that I miss it on the Saturdays that I can't go. It's not the knitting that I miss, because the truth is I rarely get to my knitting during the two hours I'm there. It's the people, the warmth and the compassion that the group brings to those who join. And, it's my time to just be me.

I've never been part of such a diverse group. We are young and not so very young, professionals and homemakers, engineers, artists, farmers, winemakers, nurses, designers and bloggers. We don't all agree about religion or politics, tea or coffee. We dress differently and like different colors (this becomes a big deal when you're a knitter). About the only things we agree on is that we like to knit, and if one of us needs help we will be there come hell or high water.

So, it really shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that they would help me with Matteo. You see Matteo has braces that he wears on his lower legs to help him stand. In order for the braces to not chafe his legs, he needs long socks that will come up and over his braces. Have you every tried to find knee socks for a one year old boy? It's not easy. So one Saturday, at knitting, I mentioned that I needed some little socks for Matteo. The response? "Genevieve, you've come to the right place!" Soon there was a prototype, then a pattern sent to everyone and now there are five pairs of wonderful socks, and more on the way! What a wonderful gift! Not the socks (although they are wonderful too), but the gift of friendship, of caring and compassion. These gifts are worth more than gold. Thank you!

Had I known that the act of joining a knitting group could be so significant in my life, I would have joined decades ago. But we don't get to go backwards, only forwards. I'm glad that I'm there now.

My Knight in Plastic Armor

Raising children is definitely a lesson in patience and perseverance. But, I thought that my job was to be the teacher, the wise sage that helped my kids through life, that is until I actually had kids. Now I'm learning that I am very much the student and there's so much to learn.

Our September trip to the Pediatric Orthopedist revealed that although his hips were in better alignment, Matteo's scoliosis had worsened. I always thought of scoliosis as something that happens to you when you get old, or at least older. Not so. In my son's case the low tone in his torso has impacted the strength in his muscles such that they allow his spine to curve in an "S" shape from left to right. In order to stabilize his spine while the back muscles are strengthening, our doctor prescribed a soft brace for him to wear while he sleeps. Now a soft brace doesn't sound so bad, so I was a bit puzzled when the doctor started going on about how it was natural for it to take several weeks before a child will wear a brace all night. If he woke up every few hours I should take it off and if he absolutely refused to wear it we would do something else.

As the doctor went on with the difficulties of getting a toddler to wear said brace, my puzzlement turned into worry. Was I going to be fighting Matteo every night? He's a good sleeper and will sleep 11 hours at night. These 11 hours are like gold! They allow me to get things done and get a good night sleep myself. The thought of giving them up, and replacing them with crankiness put me on edge. But I told myself, if it helps - that's what we'll do.

More than a month later, Matteo and I were driving back down to Oakland to pick up the brace and get it fitted. If you've never seen a brace like this before, which I hadn't, it comes as a bit of a surprise. The name "soft brace" is a bit of a misnomer. It certainly has a thin soft foam liner. But it most resembles a flesh-colored suit of armor that covers the entire torso from the hips to the arm pits. It is made as a single piece with an opening in the back that securely closes with three large velcro strips. As we fitted it on my son, I started to worry about getting him to sleep in something so heavy and confining. I just couldn't see how a 16 month old would tolerate it all night.

Driving the hour and a half back home, I started to fear that my sleep would be permanently disrupted and my happy baby would become a cranky baby. Fear changes you as it takes up residence in your heart. It creates worry and anxiety that would not otherwise exist. Worst of all, my fear would have no effect on how Matteo slept except in the case that he picked up on my anxiety.

When it came time to putting the brace on Matteo, I was surprised when he really didn't seem to mind. It's not that he just put up with it. He really didn't mind at all. He just smiled up at me and gave his usual giggle as he tries to wriggle off the changing table. When I put him into bed he went straight to sleep. I guess in my fear I had forgotten about the angel that I have in Matteo. Matteo takes everything in stride with a smile and a laugh. There is no fear in him about the future, he lives only for today and loves every minute. In many ways, Matteo is the teacher in this journey. I hope I can learn all the lessons.