My Knight in Plastic Armor

Raising children is definitely a lesson in patience and perseverance. But, I thought that my job was to be the teacher, the wise sage that helped my kids through life, that is until I actually had kids. Now I'm learning that I am very much the student and there's so much to learn.

Our September trip to the Pediatric Orthopedist revealed that although his hips were in better alignment, Matteo's scoliosis had worsened. I always thought of scoliosis as something that happens to you when you get old, or at least older. Not so. In my son's case the low tone in his torso has impacted the strength in his muscles such that they allow his spine to curve in an "S" shape from left to right. In order to stabilize his spine while the back muscles are strengthening, our doctor prescribed a soft brace for him to wear while he sleeps. Now a soft brace doesn't sound so bad, so I was a bit puzzled when the doctor started going on about how it was natural for it to take several weeks before a child will wear a brace all night. If he woke up every few hours I should take it off and if he absolutely refused to wear it we would do something else.

As the doctor went on with the difficulties of getting a toddler to wear said brace, my puzzlement turned into worry. Was I going to be fighting Matteo every night? He's a good sleeper and will sleep 11 hours at night. These 11 hours are like gold! They allow me to get things done and get a good night sleep myself. The thought of giving them up, and replacing them with crankiness put me on edge. But I told myself, if it helps - that's what we'll do.

More than a month later, Matteo and I were driving back down to Oakland to pick up the brace and get it fitted. If you've never seen a brace like this before, which I hadn't, it comes as a bit of a surprise. The name "soft brace" is a bit of a misnomer. It certainly has a thin soft foam liner. But it most resembles a flesh-colored suit of armor that covers the entire torso from the hips to the arm pits. It is made as a single piece with an opening in the back that securely closes with three large velcro strips. As we fitted it on my son, I started to worry about getting him to sleep in something so heavy and confining. I just couldn't see how a 16 month old would tolerate it all night.

Driving the hour and a half back home, I started to fear that my sleep would be permanently disrupted and my happy baby would become a cranky baby. Fear changes you as it takes up residence in your heart. It creates worry and anxiety that would not otherwise exist. Worst of all, my fear would have no effect on how Matteo slept except in the case that he picked up on my anxiety.

When it came time to putting the brace on Matteo, I was surprised when he really didn't seem to mind. It's not that he just put up with it. He really didn't mind at all. He just smiled up at me and gave his usual giggle as he tries to wriggle off the changing table. When I put him into bed he went straight to sleep. I guess in my fear I had forgotten about the angel that I have in Matteo. Matteo takes everything in stride with a smile and a laugh. There is no fear in him about the future, he lives only for today and loves every minute. In many ways, Matteo is the teacher in this journey. I hope I can learn all the lessons.