Finally! Today I am not sick. It's been a two week journey with what I'll refer to as "the plague." First came the virus, or maybe a bacteria I didn't inquire too deeply. It came with congestion, a runny nose (that's a technical term) and a cough. I thought it would last a day or so and then petter out. I was wrong! That night I shook with the chills and a fever. I hardly left the bed for the next three days. Then, as happens in families, someone else got sick - Matteo.
You really get a good idea of someone's personality when they're sick. It turns out that Matteo has a flair for the dramatic. I'm not terribly surprised. My daughter has the gift too. I'm certain that she got it from her dad's side of the family. While I was sick, Matteo had a man-cold. For three days he just moaned, not cried, moaned. He wouldn't sleep unless he were being held, and then only for a half-hour at a time. He would only take a bottle, no solid food. And at all times he wanted his back to be rubbed gently. He was rather pitiful and it was very hard not to feel sorry for him.
By the end of the weekend I was starting to feel better. My fever had broken and I was out of bed. Things were looking up. Except that while the fever and cough were gone my sinus' were getting worse. By Tuesday morning a visit to the doctor confirmed a sinus infection for me and an ear infection for Matteo. Yippee! I briefly wondered if it could get worse and then put that thought out of my mind. Things can always get worse but I wanted things to get better. With the help of modern medicine, several dozen sinus rinses and another week we recovered. Fortunately neither my husband or daughter got the plague and it looks like were in the clear. Now all I have to do is catch up with all the things that I haven't done in the last two weeks. It almost makes me want to climb back in bed.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Evaluations
These last few weeks have been ones of evaluation for Matteo. He's had assessments by all three of his therapists, his Regional Center advocate, the physiologist, the opthamologist and the gastroenterologist. It been 6 1/2 hours of meetings and over 200 miles of driving. Meetings such as these are always fraught with emotion for me. Will the news be good? Will he need more intervention/therapy/surgery? Will we need to see another specialist? Will I get a hint at the future? As one might expect when dealing with a child the news is always "yes" and "no."
First was the evaluation by the Early Childhood Developmental Therapist. She did a thorough evaluation of how Matteo is doing with his gross and fine motor skills, his cognitive skills and his communication skills as they compare to normally developing children. I didn't come as a surprise to me that Matteo is behind, but I was taken aback when I read that he is testing at the 8 to 9 month level for most of his skills. It's only in communication that he jumps to the level of a 12 month child. He's 20 months old now, so he's about a year behind in most skills. The scientific/rational side of my brain knows that this is expected. After all he does have Cerebral Palsy. But the emotional side of my brain was surprised. He has made such strides recently with cruising around the coffee table and starting to say words. He's also much more expressive now. He has definite likes and dislikes and he has no problem with letting you know when he's had enough of something. I guess I was hoping for a better result. The upside was that the Regional Center Advocate was very happy with his progress and said that he had met all of his goals.
The next evaluation was with the occupational therapist, the physical therapist and the physiologist. This was the big evaluation for how he was progressing with his muscle skills and how well he was responding to the therapy. Again it was a mixed bag. His fine motor skills are progressing and he's very motivated to get up to a standing position, but he is having a lot of difficulty with his legs. His adductors, the muscles on the insides of the thighs are very, very tight. So tight that when he stands, his legs automatically cross. His hamstrings, the muscles that connect at the base of the hips and the top of the lower leg at the back, are also very tight. They tilt his pelvis backwards and cause him to have a perpetually bent knee. Imagine that you are trying to stand on your toes, with your knees bent, back curved and legs crossed. Now try to walk. It's almost impossible.
What can we do? There are three options. One, we can continue on with just therapy and see if we can get his muscles to release. This is the least invasive method, but it will delay his being able to walk considerably and he will likely lose ground with his balance and other skills. Two, we can do surgery to release his adductors and hamstrings. This should make a very big difference. He would probably progress very well. The downside is that he would likely have to have the surgery again. With my daughter, we don't even think about surgeries. With Matteo, I just want to limit them. The middle of the road is Botox. No, not for me and the new and deeper worry lines on my face, but for Matteo in order to try and release his tight muscles. He would get a sizable injection, under a general anesthetic, to the muscles on both legs. For the following two to three months, the Botox has the effect of partially paralyzing those muscles. In that window, we would do extra therapy to try to both lengthen the tight muscles and strengthen the other leg muscles that he should be using to stand. The hope is that this would enable us to we can stave off surgery until he is at least 6, or until he needs surgery for his hips. His hips are a totally different matter that the orthopedist says we'll need to deal with in the future. Right now we're focusing on the muscles.
After lengthly discussions with Patrick and my sister, the family opthomologist, we've decided on the Botox. As counter-intuitive as it is to inject your baby with a deadly toxin, it really is his best option. We've put in the request to the insurance. When we get it back, if it's approved, we'll get an appointment for the injections. I don't think all of this will happen any time soon as they only do this procedure twice a month at the hospital. In the meantime I have to figure out how I'm going to add several more therapy sessions a week, both at home and at the therapy unit, and still get things done. As it is now I struggle to do it all, and I'm behind on most things. I think in a way this is God telling me that it is time to simplify my life. I don't simplify well, but I am going to have to if I am to meet the coming challenges.
First was the evaluation by the Early Childhood Developmental Therapist. She did a thorough evaluation of how Matteo is doing with his gross and fine motor skills, his cognitive skills and his communication skills as they compare to normally developing children. I didn't come as a surprise to me that Matteo is behind, but I was taken aback when I read that he is testing at the 8 to 9 month level for most of his skills. It's only in communication that he jumps to the level of a 12 month child. He's 20 months old now, so he's about a year behind in most skills. The scientific/rational side of my brain knows that this is expected. After all he does have Cerebral Palsy. But the emotional side of my brain was surprised. He has made such strides recently with cruising around the coffee table and starting to say words. He's also much more expressive now. He has definite likes and dislikes and he has no problem with letting you know when he's had enough of something. I guess I was hoping for a better result. The upside was that the Regional Center Advocate was very happy with his progress and said that he had met all of his goals.
The next evaluation was with the occupational therapist, the physical therapist and the physiologist. This was the big evaluation for how he was progressing with his muscle skills and how well he was responding to the therapy. Again it was a mixed bag. His fine motor skills are progressing and he's very motivated to get up to a standing position, but he is having a lot of difficulty with his legs. His adductors, the muscles on the insides of the thighs are very, very tight. So tight that when he stands, his legs automatically cross. His hamstrings, the muscles that connect at the base of the hips and the top of the lower leg at the back, are also very tight. They tilt his pelvis backwards and cause him to have a perpetually bent knee. Imagine that you are trying to stand on your toes, with your knees bent, back curved and legs crossed. Now try to walk. It's almost impossible.
What can we do? There are three options. One, we can continue on with just therapy and see if we can get his muscles to release. This is the least invasive method, but it will delay his being able to walk considerably and he will likely lose ground with his balance and other skills. Two, we can do surgery to release his adductors and hamstrings. This should make a very big difference. He would probably progress very well. The downside is that he would likely have to have the surgery again. With my daughter, we don't even think about surgeries. With Matteo, I just want to limit them. The middle of the road is Botox. No, not for me and the new and deeper worry lines on my face, but for Matteo in order to try and release his tight muscles. He would get a sizable injection, under a general anesthetic, to the muscles on both legs. For the following two to three months, the Botox has the effect of partially paralyzing those muscles. In that window, we would do extra therapy to try to both lengthen the tight muscles and strengthen the other leg muscles that he should be using to stand. The hope is that this would enable us to we can stave off surgery until he is at least 6, or until he needs surgery for his hips. His hips are a totally different matter that the orthopedist says we'll need to deal with in the future. Right now we're focusing on the muscles.
After lengthly discussions with Patrick and my sister, the family opthomologist, we've decided on the Botox. As counter-intuitive as it is to inject your baby with a deadly toxin, it really is his best option. We've put in the request to the insurance. When we get it back, if it's approved, we'll get an appointment for the injections. I don't think all of this will happen any time soon as they only do this procedure twice a month at the hospital. In the meantime I have to figure out how I'm going to add several more therapy sessions a week, both at home and at the therapy unit, and still get things done. As it is now I struggle to do it all, and I'm behind on most things. I think in a way this is God telling me that it is time to simplify my life. I don't simplify well, but I am going to have to if I am to meet the coming challenges.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Time Just To Be
I left on Friday afternoon and returned on Sunday. I spent three days and two nights without having to be MOM. Now I love being a mom. I am at my core a nurturer and the joy that I get in helping my children grow and seeing my son progress is something that I never quite experienced in my work. But when you spend your days caring for others, especially those that need a lot of care, you can forget to care for yourself. Your identity becomes wrapped up in the other. I am Mom, Matteo's Mom and Malia's Mom. I am rarely just Genevieve. This was my time to just be me.
When I left the house on Friday I told myself that for the next few days I would not worry about the kids, Patrick is a more than capable father. I would not worry about my friends with me at the conference, they are all capable adults. I would not rush or worry about being at the right place at the right time or seeing everything. I would take my time and enjoy each moment. If I missed a beautiful skein of hand-dyed yarn it would be ok. There would be more yarn next year. And as you can see I found plenty of beautiful hand-dyed yarn.
It was easier than I thought to let go of being Mom for a few days. I left the worry and stress that goes with it at home and for three whole days I was just me. I was still a mother, you can never give that up, but I was also a knitter, a friend and a woman. I was able to visit with those parts of me that aren't wrapped up in being Mom. It was refreshing. I came back happy and recharged. It reminded me of the importance of taking time just to be. I will endeavor to visit with me more often and not wait until the next knitting convention comes along. I will take more time just to be.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Kids Say The Darndest Things
Computer technology can be wonderful and maddening. This week it's been maddening. In the midst of writing this post my 5 year-old computer gave up the ghost. Try as I might, I could not get everything working. Fortunately I have another laptop computer, a donation from my Dad. It works well if you don't count the fact that the screen is broken. But, I was able to hook it up to an old desktop screen that I have and now (six days later) I'm back in business.
While I generally write about my journey with my son Matteo, occasionally my daughter Malia says, or does, something that I just have to share. This was one of those weeks. My daughter Malia is generally described as a "lovely girl." And she is. She can be the sweetest most generous eight-year-old you've ever met. She has no lack of self-esteem and is confident in her ability to express herself. This she does often, or more precisely, whenever she is awake. Malia loves sound and is happy to supply it when it is in deficit, like when I'm sitting quietly with a cup of tea. She talks, sings, hums, drums, taps and has now taken up playing the violin. She is a whirlwind of sound and energy. She also says the darndest things.
Malia is in third-grade, and this week announced that she was selected to be on the student council for her grade. She was thrilled to be part of the group that decides when "crazy hair day" or "wear your pajamas to school day" will be. I asked her how they select kids for student council at her school. This is what she said:
"Well my teacher picks the two smartest kids in our grade. But they weren't available, so me and (friend who won't be named) are doing it."
Really? The two smartest kids weren't available so Malia got it? How does a mother respond to that? Now it's true that Malia is not the smartest kid in the grade. She still struggles with math and it's also true that "being the best" is not her goal. Still, I was surprised by her frank admission. In deference to her teacher, I'm sure that she did not put it this way when she picked my daughter for student council. But still she was very proud of herself so Patrick and I did our best not to laugh.
As I said, Malia still struggles with math. Her teacher has been working with her and has asked us to concentrate on her multiplication. So, every night for the last few weeks we've been going over the multiplication tables. I thought she was finally getting them memorized. I was wrong. Every week they have a test that checks their understanding. This week Malia said she did really well on the writing. "Great!" I said. "How was the math?" This is what she said:
"It was good, but I still have to work on my multiplication."
So I asked her which multiplication tables she still needed some help on. Her answer:
"Well, mostly the bigger numbers like 5 to 12. And the 3's. I'm good with the 4's."
Ok, so at least she's got the 0's, 1's, 2's and 4's. Only nine more to learn. (sigh!!) I suppose honesty is a good thing.
When it comes to boys honesty is a very good thing. Which leads me to the thing I most did not expect to hear:
"Mom, (boy who won't be named) gave me this note. He wants to go on a date! I said yes."
What? A date? This was very unexpected. So I asked Malia what a date was, given that she's 8. This is what she said:
"You know Mom, it's what teenagers do."
I am sure that the image in her mind is vastly different than the image in my mind. But just to be positive that we were on the same page I informed Malia that she was welcome to go on a "play date" with him to get an ice cream and sit in the plaza with us and his parents. She then informed me that it was not a date if parents were there. I informed her that it was not a "date" and parents would always be there. I am totally not ready for this growing up thing. Fortunately the talk of "date" disappeared right after Valentines Day. Thank God, because I am not ready for this growing up thing!
This weekend I am off to a Knitting Convention. I've never been to one, but I am going with twelve friends from my knitting group and NO CHILDREN! I am looking forward to a weekend of just being me!
While I generally write about my journey with my son Matteo, occasionally my daughter Malia says, or does, something that I just have to share. This was one of those weeks. My daughter Malia is generally described as a "lovely girl." And she is. She can be the sweetest most generous eight-year-old you've ever met. She has no lack of self-esteem and is confident in her ability to express herself. This she does often, or more precisely, whenever she is awake. Malia loves sound and is happy to supply it when it is in deficit, like when I'm sitting quietly with a cup of tea. She talks, sings, hums, drums, taps and has now taken up playing the violin. She is a whirlwind of sound and energy. She also says the darndest things.
Malia is in third-grade, and this week announced that she was selected to be on the student council for her grade. She was thrilled to be part of the group that decides when "crazy hair day" or "wear your pajamas to school day" will be. I asked her how they select kids for student council at her school. This is what she said:
"Well my teacher picks the two smartest kids in our grade. But they weren't available, so me and (friend who won't be named) are doing it."
Really? The two smartest kids weren't available so Malia got it? How does a mother respond to that? Now it's true that Malia is not the smartest kid in the grade. She still struggles with math and it's also true that "being the best" is not her goal. Still, I was surprised by her frank admission. In deference to her teacher, I'm sure that she did not put it this way when she picked my daughter for student council. But still she was very proud of herself so Patrick and I did our best not to laugh.
As I said, Malia still struggles with math. Her teacher has been working with her and has asked us to concentrate on her multiplication. So, every night for the last few weeks we've been going over the multiplication tables. I thought she was finally getting them memorized. I was wrong. Every week they have a test that checks their understanding. This week Malia said she did really well on the writing. "Great!" I said. "How was the math?" This is what she said:
"It was good, but I still have to work on my multiplication."
So I asked her which multiplication tables she still needed some help on. Her answer:
"Well, mostly the bigger numbers like 5 to 12. And the 3's. I'm good with the 4's."
Ok, so at least she's got the 0's, 1's, 2's and 4's. Only nine more to learn. (sigh!!) I suppose honesty is a good thing.
When it comes to boys honesty is a very good thing. Which leads me to the thing I most did not expect to hear:
"Mom, (boy who won't be named) gave me this note. He wants to go on a date! I said yes."
What? A date? This was very unexpected. So I asked Malia what a date was, given that she's 8. This is what she said:
"You know Mom, it's what teenagers do."
I am sure that the image in her mind is vastly different than the image in my mind. But just to be positive that we were on the same page I informed Malia that she was welcome to go on a "play date" with him to get an ice cream and sit in the plaza with us and his parents. She then informed me that it was not a date if parents were there. I informed her that it was not a "date" and parents would always be there. I am totally not ready for this growing up thing. Fortunately the talk of "date" disappeared right after Valentines Day. Thank God, because I am not ready for this growing up thing!
This weekend I am off to a Knitting Convention. I've never been to one, but I am going with twelve friends from my knitting group and NO CHILDREN! I am looking forward to a weekend of just being me!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Outwardly Mobile
Thank you! Thank you for all of the encouraging words and comments. Knowing that my blog is appreciated helps me keep writing. I'm going to ask (a bit self-consciously) that if you like my blog you please share it with friends who might like it also? Thank you.Last week Matteo tried out an assisted walker for the first time. It enables him to get the idea and motion of walking without having to balance at the same time. He did really well in therapy, so we were able to bring it home for the week. It's been a great week!
Matteo has always loved to be outside. No matter where we are, if there's a door, he's heading for it. But, being outside with him has meant him sitting in the stroller or crawling on the grass. While he loves the stroller, it doesn't do much for getting out his boundless energy. And while the grass is fun to touch feel and eat, he is always trying to crawl to the driveway which is really hard on his knees. I was thrilled to try out the walker. So, while the rest of the country has been snowed in, we've had spring-like weather all week. It's been a perfect time to get out.
I think my expectations may have been a bit high on our first outing. Somewhere in my mind I envisioned us walking up the street, visiting a neighbor and maybe having a nice stroll around the block. Reality was somewhat different. We went for a 45-minute outing and got all the way to the corner and back. We live one house from the corner. That means we averaged one house every 22 minutes, give or take. At that rate our stroll around the block would be an all-day affair. While we wouldn't win any races, Matteo had a wonderful time. He laughed every time the wind blew his hair and did a little dance when a car went by. It was magical to see him so happy.
The best day came on Sunday. We went to our neighbors' house to watch the Super Bowl. They have a long, flat and gated driveway that's perfect for little ones to ride their scooters and tricycles up and down. Matteo had his walker and for the first time he was able to interact with the other kids. He laughed when they wheeled around him and followed after as best he could. He was so happy! It also gave me some relief. I didn't have to carry him or follow after him as he crawled around the house. He could play and I could visit with friends. In many ways it lifted a burden from my shoulders and allowed me to just be me. We had a great day!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Lessons Learned
I finally finished a knitting project that I've been working on for many months. It was intended to be a Christmas gift, but as you can tell it's a bit late for that. I'm calling it an early birthday present. As I was nearing completion, I said to my husband that it would be very nice if my knitting projects weren't also learning experiences. I imagine that when very experienced knitters end a project it comes out just as they imagined in the time frame they expected.
But, my project was a learning experience and I'm determined to learn. So here's what I learned.
First: Be prepared. A little planning goes a long way, a lot of planning goes farther. Planning a knitting project involves knitting a gauge swatch to see how big the blanket will be if knitted to the directions. This is handy because baby blankets are supposed to be longer than they are wide so that they fit nicely in the crib. I skipped the gauge and just started knitting so mine is wider than it is long. Planning a project also involves adding up all of the little embellishments that aren't in the pattern. This way you don't run out of yarn that is no longer in production or carried by any store anywhere in the world...six inches from finishing the trim.
Second: Expect the unexpected. When it's not turning out how you envisioned, change your point of view. Do things ever come out as envisioned? Not in my experience. So when you run out of yarn that is no longer available, it is time to improvise. Think outside the box. Take the road less traveled. It was hard to change my vision of the perfect baby blanket. Once I did, I liked the new vision. I think my nephew will like it too.
Third: Nobody's perfect. Handknit blankets aren't perfect, that's how you know they're handknit. Perfection is not beauty. Beauty lies in the little (or not so little) imperfections that show that it was made with love. When we expect perfection we will always be disappointed. Beauty is never disappointing.
Amazing how your children and your knitting projects can teach you the exact same three lessons.
But, my project was a learning experience and I'm determined to learn. So here's what I learned.
First: Be prepared. A little planning goes a long way, a lot of planning goes farther. Planning a knitting project involves knitting a gauge swatch to see how big the blanket will be if knitted to the directions. This is handy because baby blankets are supposed to be longer than they are wide so that they fit nicely in the crib. I skipped the gauge and just started knitting so mine is wider than it is long. Planning a project also involves adding up all of the little embellishments that aren't in the pattern. This way you don't run out of yarn that is no longer in production or carried by any store anywhere in the world...six inches from finishing the trim.
Second: Expect the unexpected. When it's not turning out how you envisioned, change your point of view. Do things ever come out as envisioned? Not in my experience. So when you run out of yarn that is no longer available, it is time to improvise. Think outside the box. Take the road less traveled. It was hard to change my vision of the perfect baby blanket. Once I did, I liked the new vision. I think my nephew will like it too.
Third: Nobody's perfect. Handknit blankets aren't perfect, that's how you know they're handknit. Perfection is not beauty. Beauty lies in the little (or not so little) imperfections that show that it was made with love. When we expect perfection we will always be disappointed. Beauty is never disappointing.
Amazing how your children and your knitting projects can teach you the exact same three lessons.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Overwhelmed
I am glad to be back writing today. Last week I was so overwhelmed that I just couldn't think to sit down and write. At night, my normal writing time, all I wanted to do was put the kids to bed and go to bed myself. It took until Sunday, yesterday, to get out of my funk.
As I look back I'm not sure what it was that put me over the edge. It built up until it was just too much and I sat down and cried. In fact I cried most of the day. The crying helped in a way. I was able to think about why I was so upset. I realized that I was resentful of my son, or more specifically, of his disability. Because of his cerebral palsy he can't do the things that other children his age can do. So I can't do the things that I want to do. I feel stuck in our tiny house. But the resentment quickly turned into guilt. How can I resent my wonderful child? It's not me that will struggle to do the things others take for granted. I won't have to face the challenges that he will face every day. It was the guilt, I think, that put me over the edge.
But the reality is that I'm not Supermom. I'm just Mom and I'm a human mom. And human moms go through this. Knowing that helps. While I can't always live in the moment, I know that the moments of guilt and resentment will pass if I let them. I just have to let them pass. That's the hardest part. If I let the moments pass and recognize them for the human moments that they are, the next human moment won't be so overwhelming. I can start to leave the guilt behind and enjoy the moments when Matteo learns he can reach the piano keys, or says a new word. These are the moments that make the bad times good and remind me of the incredible gift that is being a parent.
As I look back I'm not sure what it was that put me over the edge. It built up until it was just too much and I sat down and cried. In fact I cried most of the day. The crying helped in a way. I was able to think about why I was so upset. I realized that I was resentful of my son, or more specifically, of his disability. Because of his cerebral palsy he can't do the things that other children his age can do. So I can't do the things that I want to do. I feel stuck in our tiny house. But the resentment quickly turned into guilt. How can I resent my wonderful child? It's not me that will struggle to do the things others take for granted. I won't have to face the challenges that he will face every day. It was the guilt, I think, that put me over the edge.
But the reality is that I'm not Supermom. I'm just Mom and I'm a human mom. And human moms go through this. Knowing that helps. While I can't always live in the moment, I know that the moments of guilt and resentment will pass if I let them. I just have to let them pass. That's the hardest part. If I let the moments pass and recognize them for the human moments that they are, the next human moment won't be so overwhelming. I can start to leave the guilt behind and enjoy the moments when Matteo learns he can reach the piano keys, or says a new word. These are the moments that make the bad times good and remind me of the incredible gift that is being a parent.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Matteo's Resolutions
Last week I wrote about my three resolutions for the year, so this week it's time for Matteo's. Since Matteo is not quite speaking yet, I've had to guess at what he'd resolve to do this year. Here are his (my) three:
1. I will sit unsupported. In June of last year Matteo's rehabilitation doctor told me that 80% of children who sit unsupported by the age of two will walk. The likelihood of walking then drops to 20% for children who don't sit by age four. Right now, at 18 months, Matteo can sit only for short periods of time before falling over. His difficulty stems from very tight hamstrings, hips and adductors. Most of his therapy centers on stretching out those muscles and improving his balance. We have a lot of work to do to get his muscles relaxed and stretched so that he can straighten both legs at once. This is our number one goal this year.
2. I will use a spoon. Matteo would much rather be served than serve himself. He's very content to just open his maw and wait for the food to arrive. This is not what I have in mind for the next several years. His Occupational Therapist has a plan. It involves a strap that goes around his hand and holds a neoprene tube that I can slide a spoon into. That way when he lets go of the spoon the spoon stays in his hand. In theory it works great. Not so in practice. Matteo, in this short week, has learned that when I say "give me your hand" he hides both hands under the tray of his highchair. On the rare times that I can get the contraption on he has learned that if he slides his hand across the edge of his tray it pops off. Then he opens his mouth and waits for the food. But, we are resolved to use a spoon. Or, I am resolved that he will use a spoon.
3. I will say "mama" or some semblance of the "m" and "ah" sounds together. Is this too much to ask? I take care of him all day, change his diapers, feed him, bathe him and all I ask is to hear this sound pointed in my direction. Instead my husband, after watching him for a few paltry hours on the weekend, says that Matteo is saying "papa" every time he leaves the room. I go away for a few hours and he's saying papa. I almost cried. (Note: I should say at this point that my darling husband gets up in the morning, changes him and gets our daughter ready for and to school while I sit in bed with the cup of tea that he brings me every morning. If you know my family you will know that I am just carrying on a tradition started by my Great Aunt Una.) But, really that's no reason for his first word to be papa and not mama. Words will come next, and hopefully soon because the whole screaming thing is getting old.
Matteo and I have a lot to work on this year but I am confident that with daily practice and perseverance we will meet all of his resolutions this year. I hope you can meet yours.
1. I will sit unsupported. In June of last year Matteo's rehabilitation doctor told me that 80% of children who sit unsupported by the age of two will walk. The likelihood of walking then drops to 20% for children who don't sit by age four. Right now, at 18 months, Matteo can sit only for short periods of time before falling over. His difficulty stems from very tight hamstrings, hips and adductors. Most of his therapy centers on stretching out those muscles and improving his balance. We have a lot of work to do to get his muscles relaxed and stretched so that he can straighten both legs at once. This is our number one goal this year.
2. I will use a spoon. Matteo would much rather be served than serve himself. He's very content to just open his maw and wait for the food to arrive. This is not what I have in mind for the next several years. His Occupational Therapist has a plan. It involves a strap that goes around his hand and holds a neoprene tube that I can slide a spoon into. That way when he lets go of the spoon the spoon stays in his hand. In theory it works great. Not so in practice. Matteo, in this short week, has learned that when I say "give me your hand" he hides both hands under the tray of his highchair. On the rare times that I can get the contraption on he has learned that if he slides his hand across the edge of his tray it pops off. Then he opens his mouth and waits for the food. But, we are resolved to use a spoon. Or, I am resolved that he will use a spoon.
3. I will say "mama" or some semblance of the "m" and "ah" sounds together. Is this too much to ask? I take care of him all day, change his diapers, feed him, bathe him and all I ask is to hear this sound pointed in my direction. Instead my husband, after watching him for a few paltry hours on the weekend, says that Matteo is saying "papa" every time he leaves the room. I go away for a few hours and he's saying papa. I almost cried. (Note: I should say at this point that my darling husband gets up in the morning, changes him and gets our daughter ready for and to school while I sit in bed with the cup of tea that he brings me every morning. If you know my family you will know that I am just carrying on a tradition started by my Great Aunt Una.) But, really that's no reason for his first word to be papa and not mama. Words will come next, and hopefully soon because the whole screaming thing is getting old.
Matteo and I have a lot to work on this year but I am confident that with daily practice and perseverance we will meet all of his resolutions this year. I hope you can meet yours.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Resolutions
So, here they are:
1. I will drink more water. My goal is the 8 glasses of 8 oz. per day that doctors continually recommend for good health. I will deem 6 glasses acceptable as it is much more likely. Does a cup of tea count as a glass? I suppose not.. I've always felt better when I'm drinking copious amounts of water, so it seams to be a good goal.
2. I will become a finisher. This has been my nemesis for years. I get almost done with a project and then move on to the next without quite finishing the first. But, the almost-doneness drives me nuts. So, this year I will do something about it. Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to finish all of those projects around the house that are still undone. But, I will finish all of the ones in progress before I start new ones.
3. I will not fear and stress over things over which I have no control. I've saved the hardest for last. If the last year has taught me anything it's that there are a lot of things to stress over if I give myself the chance. But so little of the stress is productive because there are so many things that I can do nothing about. And frankly, I've got plenty of things that I can do something about to stress over. The difficulty is knowing what I can affect and what I cannot. Matteo needs me to stress over somethings because he needs me to be on top of doctor appointments, therapy sessions, insurance and the like. But, I shouldn't stress over what his school age years will be like or if he'll be able to walk. My hope and prayer is that God will give me the wisdom to know what to I can affect and what I cannot. My job is to listen.
I have some resolutions for Matteo too, but I'll save those for next week.
May 2011 bring you peace, joy and happiness!!
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